I CHALLENGE YOU MARADONA!

These past couple of weeks have been something else in the world of football news. First we’ve got this happenin to those Czech’s. But what a sec? What kind of a late party? Do professional footballers stay up late playing truth or dare, Family Guy drinking games or fuckin circle of death (also known as King’s Cup to some)? Thats not exactly an adequate use of Prague’s finest hotel (which should run you about 6 dollars a night). No, there were hookers involved (who like the hotel, couldn’t have costed more than 6 dollars a night). And also, there was John Arne Riise’s broke ass. You play for Liverpool. the guy standing behind you in the welfare check line sucks dick for crack (see: Diego Maradona). Sprout yourself like 3 brain cells, and invest the money yourself or hire someone who WILL NOT ROB YOU! You gotta love it when people get taken advantage of by people smarter than them. It gives me hope for the future, knowing that all I have to do is find 1 person richer and less intelligent than me, and I’ll be set.

Then we also have Maradona. The fattest national hero that Argentina ever has had. This is the man you revere? The man would be broke right now, if he actually ever had to pay for anything. You know what, I take back what I said about him earlier in this post. He doesn’t even have to suck dick to get drugs in Argentina. He gets a blow job from any coke dealer he wants and then gets his free 12 kilos (what the hell… lets make it a baker’s dozen). And these Argentinos are so devoted to their hero that they stay at his hospital. How about if you guys love him, you tell him maybe to knock that needle out of his vein? Maybe tell him that 2 Zimas a night is enough for him. You know what, fuck him. He was admitted into a hospital due to “alcohol reasons”. Well this blogger turned 21 on Sunday and had himself 10 beers and 6 shots from midnight to 230am and leadin up to midnight had himself an Irish Car Bomb (a staple in the house of the hooligans, except we don’t use this half shot bullshit) along with plenty of crunktitude occurring beforehand now, according to the tally marks on my hand (arm and elbow) which started at midnight and stopped at 130, I took down 9 of those drinks/shots at the bar along with the car bomb (so about 11 1/2). According to this site (a 160-170 pound lad such as myself), I was within the possibility of death. Did that stop me from the continued drinking? Hell no! I don’t drink like a bitch! I hereby challenge this Diego Maradonna to a drinking contest. I don’t give a shit if you’re big enough to fuckin eat me. I will destroy you and your bitch liver.

THE HAND OF GOD WILL NOT SAVE YOU FROM BEING MY BITCH!

And of course, not to be outdone by the funny football news that occurred in the days leading up to April, Keith Richards had this to say about his dad’s ashes. For those of you who don’t know who Keith Richards is, here is Robin Williams’ take on him.

I would also like to mention that unlike another hooligan, I did not need to postdate this entry before I published it. Bitch